Acceptance
by SilverSnikle
Summary: Clark isn't sure how to move on. Chlark. / Clois later.
1. Prologue

It had been a sunny day, with fluffy white clouds scattered throughout the skies. The rain had started quick, as if it were turned on with a switch. Everyone was gathered around, heads bowed or staring into the distance, listening. Some were lost in thought, not hearing the words being expressed.

I could hear a voice in the background, hidden behind my own inner monologue. It droned on methodically, rehearsed, insincere. That wasn't a fair judgment. In emotional situations it's easier to speak if the words are kept in rhythm.

Here and there I would hear a muffled cry, a choked sob. There may have been tears streaming down my cheeks; the rain had made it a moot point. Each of my layers was soaked through. My body was starting to shiver. When I shifted my eyes slightly to the right, his hand was hanging there, limp. It was impulsive when I slid my hand into his. The warmth of his skin slowly spread though my entire body.

The droning voice of the preacher stopped. Sounds of people dispersing surrounded us before silence consumed us. Then we were alone. His hand returned my embrace as if only now feeling my intrusion. He let out a sigh, his tense body relaxing slightly.

Knowing there was no longer a purpose in standing there, I turned to lead him away. My car would be dry and warm. He followed without letting go. I was surprised, and relieved. Reaching my driver-side door he let his hand slide out of mine. The rain danced on top of the car melodically. The musical sound was soothing. I started my engine, turning on the car's lights and accentuating the rain like diamonds in front of us. When I stole glance at him out of the corner of my eye, he has laid his head back, his eyes closed, his lips parted slightly. His hair was stuck to his skin, glued in place by the rain. His skin was glistening in the sun pouring in the passenger window; he had a soft glow around him.

As I drove my thoughts were on his mother. The next few weeks would be hard her and Clark. The loss of a family member leaves an emptiness in the home. I knew the feeling. Though, my mother had left of her own accord, my father and I had still gone through a mourning period of our own. Memories of her proud smile clouded my mind as I pulled the car to a stop. As the images in my head drifted into oblivion I saw the back of the Talon. My intention had been to take Clark home to his mother's loving arms. I had been distracted by memories of my own mother.

When I reached out to put my car in reverse, his hand covered mine. I looked at him with questioning eyes, but he quieted any question I might voice by pulling my hand away from the gearshift. He was out of the vehicle and at my door before I had blinked. My door opened and a hand reached out to me. When I put my hand tentatively in his, the world disappeared around me. When it came back in to view I was standing in the middle of my small apartment.

There was an instant puddle at our feet. My mind was still playing catch up as he slid my cropped jacket off my shoulder, letting it drop to the floor behind me. The realization of how close our bodies were made me shiver. He was looking at me through eyes I'd never seen before, eyes filled with something foreign. He shrugged off his suit jacket revealing his white shirt, pressed against his skin, made see-through by the rain. He shook his head, little drops of water hitting my face. I was frozen in place. My mind told me this had to be a dream, yet my skin could feel the reality of it.

I swallowed as he leaned in to me, pressing our bodies together. His face was close enough for me to feel his natural warmth on my cheeks. When he slid a hand into my wet hair and the other around my waist, I melted. I became one with the water that covered me, fluid. His lips hovered over mine, his sweet, soft breath warming me. There was no movement for a few heartbeats. Then, he kissed me.

It was not forceful, nor was it soft. His lips were determined, sure. It was intoxicating. My legs buckled, but I never moved. He held me there against him with no effort. As I kissed him back, no thoughts clouded my mind. I was floating, eyes closed, in his embrace. He pulled back just enough to make eye contact, his lids half closed, his lips parted and pink. My heart raced, and when his lips curled up at the corners, I lost the ability to breathe. A fire ignited in his eyes, lighting up my body as if I'd been struck by lightening.

He let go of my body and to my amazement I stood there on my own. He took my hand and led me out to the small balcony. The sun was disappearing behind the horizon, leaving an orange blanket over the world. Still holding my hand, he brought it up to his chest and wrapped his arm around the small of my back. My first thought was that he wanted to dance. I started to protest, but he just smiled at my open lips and kissed them shut again.

In one swift motion, the two of us were suddenly hovering over the town. Wind rushed through my hair; I could feel the water being ripped away from me. We spun slowly as we rose higher. It took a few moments for me to realize we were not descending back to the planet below. I looked at his face, confused. He was smiling wildly, staring off into the distance. My heart was pounding for a different reason now.

He looked down at me and registered the look on my face. The wind slowed around us until it was still. I glanced over my shoulder and immediately regretted it. He frowned and the fear in my eyes and we started to fall back to the ground. Once my feet were safely touching something solid I rested my head against his neck. I could hear his heartbeat pounding away.

"I thought flying was the one super power you didn't posses." My voice was quiet, but sounded stronger than I had expected it to.

"Has anything ever given you the feeling that you could do anything?" He matched my volume, his excitement radiating in every word. I kept quiet, sure the question was rhetorical. "When I kissed you, that's how I felt." He buried his face in my hair.

My heart fluttered.

As we stood there in each others arms, time seemed to stand still. I started to feel reality grabbing at me, trying to get a firm hold. I wasn't ready to let go yet. I inhaled deeply, attempting to breathe in the very essence of him. I shuttered against him.

"We need to get you out of these wet clothes." Even as he spoke he didn't move.

"Yeah, you're right." A few more quiet moments passed before he led me back inside my apartment.

He moved to sit on the couch and stopped, standing in front of it. He looked lost for a moment. Concerned, I moved to stand next to him, putting a hand on his arm. The lost look disappeared. He smiled and took my hand into his. I was led into my room and in front of my dresser. I glanced up at him, and then opened a drawer to grab out a pair of flannel pajamas. He smiled wider at my selection and led me to the bathroom door. He hesitated for an instant before releasing my hand.

This time, I felt the disconnect, too. I hurried to change, and left my wet clothes in a pile on the floor.

He was sitting on the edge of my bed, an amused smile playing on his lips. He was wearing a t-shirt and pair of basketball shorts I had confiscated from his house over the years. I blushed, my secret out in the open. He stood to meet me half-way, locking his fingers into mine the instant we were close enough.

"I started a fire, would you like to go sit by it?"

I nodded, knowing my voice wouldn't cooperate anyhow.

I followed him to the living room where he had indeed started a fire, and had also laid out a blanket for us to lounge on. He sat down on the blanket with his back against the couch and pulled me down next to him. Then he wrapped his arm around me, forcing my head onto his chest. I had never been more comfortable.

I felt his lips tickle my forehead as he placed a kiss there.

"I wished I'd given in to this sooner."

His voice was so faint I had to convince myself I had really heard those words. I didn't move, hoping he would continue.

"It's just natural to be with you, Chloe." My lips curled at his admission.

I let my eyes close, indulging in the wave of sleep consuming me, knowing that when I woke up he would still be there. It had taken years of patience on my part, but he had now accepted his true feelings. And there was no turning back.


	2. Chapter 1

It took less than a year for Clark and I to vow our love for one another out in the open and make it official. Being Mrs. Kent was a little odd to me for quite some time; that is Clark's mom, Martha, not myself. Every time someone (mostly Clark) called me by that title, it made me blush. We even lived in Mrs. K's house for the first six months after our nuptials. So, getting used to the new name wasn't easy.

At first Clark worried that my knowledge of his most guarded secret, and us being so openly together, was too dangerous. In the end, my knowing his truths was a blessing to our relationship. He didn't have to hide things from me, or give me lame excuses about where he was going and what he was doing. I was able to stand by his side as many of his greatest challenges manifested themselves. Not literally by his side, of course. Clark was always too protective for that.

We met Oliver Queen, captain of Queen Industries, when he came to town as the modern-day Robin Hood. Once we realized we were all on the same side of justice, we began to work together. It took Clark some getting used to. He can be a bit of a loner at times, trying to maintain the weight of the world all on his own shoulders. Oliver left for a while to organize a group of justice fighters before coming back to Metropolis and starting Watchtower. They have their differences, even to this day, but overall it's a good match.

With all of them out in the streets fighting crime, I became the center of Watchtower; moonlighting in the clock tower looking over the city, guiding them wherever they were needed. Clark may have the ability to hear screams or sirens from thirty miles away, but they rest of them needed some help. Before long, I became Watchtower. Clark was uneasy, but much more comfortable with me up in a tower out of harm's reach. Seems very Disney princess, but none of them had my high-tech gear and satellites. We stayed busy fighting the good fight.

In that first year of marriage, much happened on the flip side of our lives as well. Lana married Lex, and even as a friend, it stung. I knew Clark was in pain over it, so that didn't help either. Here, Lex had caused so much pain to us, her friends, and she goes off and marries him? It came out later that she tricked us, the day of her wedding, into exposing Clark's secret. She decided not to go through with the wedding, but was forced to by Lionel. He used her to get information about the secret projects Lex was backing. All in all, Lionel seemed to be attempting to help Clark with the only tactics he knew. Poor Lana. It was even more painful when she died in an explosion, and simply complicated when she was seemingly resurrected. No one should have to fake their own death just to get out of a marriage.

I can't imagine where these events would have led the man I love if I had not been by his side. Dealing with these tragedies one-after-another may very well have destroyed the man he was. He may not be human, but he is still not perfect. We all have our breaking points. His just seems to be a little higher up the scale than most.

It was halfway into our second year as a married couple when my womb swelled with life. We were amazed, confused, and ultimately elated. It had always been assumed that Clark would not be able to reproduce, at least with a human. Well, we all know what happens when one _ass_umes. This was a blessing, and like everything in Clark's life, proved to be a great test.

For years I had been haunted by the fact that at some point I had manifested an ability of my own from exposure to the green meteor rocks, Kryptonite. I had the power of healing, with a price. If I were to cut myself while cooking, it would heal immediately. If someone else were to lose their life, as in my cousin, I had the ability to bring her back. The problem with such a resurrection was that it drained all the life out of me in the process, and I became a sacrifice. The first time it happened, I was pronounced dead and stayed that way for around fifteen hours. Waking up in a morgue- not recommended.

Clark and I shared our view of this power. We were very wary of it. There had been too few Kryptonite infected examples that ended happily. Too many times, the power people received from Kryptonite had eventually led them down a path of destruction. I know now my power was definitely a gift. Clark would have a harder time admitting that, but he knows it's the only truth.

Our child shared its father's blood, and therefore his advanced strength. At first it was nothing of concern. Our child was active in the womb and often moved swiftly, sometimes making me lose my own balance. I was somewhere in my second trimester the first time I felt something break. I remember frowning at the thought of Clark realizing what was about to start happening.

We had brought in Dr. Emil Hamilton as a part of the Watchtower's crew and he became my primary, (translation: only) care physician. He examined me and we decided I would be fine, as my body worked to heal itself from whatever injury my child could cause. Clark was stressed by these new developments and at first threw himself into his reporting and patrolling, now under the alias of The Red Blue Blur (thanks to Lois for the Call Name). I all but lived at Watchtower for months six and seven of the pregnancy. But when Lois became adamant about taking shifts with Clark so that I was never at home alone, we decided to purchase a small condo in Metropolis.

Month eight left me in bed most days. I endured, on average, three minor internal injuries a day. The child was large enough to puncture some of my vital organs and it became impossible for me to move around much more than for a simple trip to the restroom. Lois was mortified by the complications. Of course, to her, it was simply a complicated pregnancy. She had no knowledge of how bad it really was. There was no point in explaining; once our child was born, I would be perfectly fine again.

Halfway through that month Clark took leave from the Daily Planet. I was healing myself almost hourly. He would not have left my side had I not insisted he continue his patrols. Not only did it give me a few moments here and there to rest peacefully, but it gave Lois and I some alone time. I believe he needed that outlet to express his feelings, best to be saving the city in the process of dealing with stress. Lois kept me up to date on how amazing The Blur had become in the past few weeks, tripling his prior saves.

I'll never forget the day our child was born. Clark would tell you it was the day I made my last and final sacrifice for him. In truth, my sacrifice originated out of selfishness, and was only partially for him.

Two days leading up to my labor (and two weeks early) our baby had been extremely active. I guess that should have been a hint to me that she was ready to get out of her secluded haven. I was suffering injuries faster than I could heal them. We found that my power had limits, and not just when I resurrected someone. The more I healed myself, the slower the healing process became. By the time we realized I was going into labor I had only had maybe five total minutes of rest in a thirty six hour period that had not been spent healing.

I fought hard. Harder than I ever imagined I could. It had taken years for me to get where I was, and I was not going to give up on my dreams, and love easily. But more than that, I was afraid of what would become of Clark if I left him _and_ was unable to produce his child. When I started to feel my powers failing, I made a decision. Clark would always have the memories of our time together, the many years by each others' sides. But he needed the chance to meet his daughter. There was no option. It was too late for myself, but I could give her that chance.

When I heard her cry out, I knew I had succeeded, she was a fighter. Clark leaned over me, placing a kiss on my forehead, his lips cool and soft. His eyes met mine and I whispered my apology to him with the last ounce of life I possessed. The confusion and dread in his eyes at that moment still haunt me. The realization of my confession crushed through him. His face contorted and he pressed his lips against mine, tears spilling from his eyes onto my cheeks. His grip on my hand was shaky. He pulled back away from my lips unable to grasp that this was his newest test. He fell to his knees next to my bed, his head on the mattress, still clutching my hand.

It was in that moment, seeing him there on the floor, that I realized I was still there. My body had no life, and I had no body, but I was still there, still with him. You've heard the phrase "I think, therefore I am." That phrase defined what I had become. It was as if I had become a semblance of my previous existence. I also quickly realized I had no way of showing myself to Clark, or of letting him know I was there.

I just, was.

I simply existed.

Watching his heart break, I knew the first step to Clark dealing with this newest test would be his acceptance of it. He would need to accept that I truly was gone.

Clark was a perfectly natural father, right from those first moments. When he took our daughter from the nurse, she became his world. A fresh set of tears glistened on his cheeks. Our tiny baby was wrapped in a bundle of blankets and even still she was swallowed up by his large hands. She seemed to understand that those hands keeping her safe were meant for that very purpose. She stopped crying and seemed to relax instantly.

She was perfect! Pure white peach fuzz covered her little pink head and clear blue eyes darted around the room. If I'd had lips there would have been a permanent smile planted on them. She was so quiet, just taking in the handsome features of her father's face.

Lois came rushing through the door and instantly fell to the ground. I became suddenly aware that the medical staff had covered my body with a plain white sheet. The poor girl. I feared how Clark would react to her outward display of mourning. He was a greatly empathetic man, sharing the same detriment could only prove to make it that much more difficult for him to maintain a sense of calm. Clark frowned down at her there on the ground, her body shaking with her wails. I could see him calculating mentally, his eyes focused on her form, his eyebrows tilted inward. In testimony to his true merit, he did the one thing he could. Still holding our daughter, he knelt next to the shattered woman on the floor.

Lois must have sensed him there, her face still hidden behind her hands, and looked up through her fingers at him. He extended his hands, our child, out to her as an offering. Her breath hitched in her throat. She sat back on her feet and took the child from him. As she settled our baby into her arms, Clark pulled them both into his own. He rested his cheek on Lois's temple and sighed. This was all he had left of me. Our child, and my cousin.

The first few weeks home from the hospital were best described as adorable. Lois and Clark agreed to raise our child, Caitlyn, at the Kent farm. Clark knew that Lois was dealing with the same tragic loss as himself. He would not deny her a permanent place in Caitlyn's life. It was what I wanted; they were right in thinking that. They took turns with her, and both woke at the first hint of her waking. Lois slept in Clark's old room, and Clark slept in his mother's room. With Mrs. K off in Washington now that she was on the Senate, it worked out perfectly.

My two favorite people on the Earth had never gone more than five minutes in the same room without some sort of sarcasmic eruption between them, but here it had been two weeks. I saw the way Lois began to look at him. I had worn that same look for years. Loving, and knowing it was not a love to be returned. I could see the frustration in her eyes, and if I were honest, I could sense her frustration. She was frustrated only with herself. It was a self-loathing of sorts.

Exploring my own existence, I learned I could focus on someone and know exactly what they were feeling. While Clark held Caitlyn I sensed love. When Lois held Caitlyn with one arm, while heating a bottle with the other, Clark was anxious, but understanding. It wasn't mind reading, but maybe it was something better, something more.

Caitlyn loved both of them. When either of them was rocking her I couldn't help from singing the songs my mother had sung to me. Though my songs were mere thoughts, for no one but myself, it was as if Caitlyn felt safe while I thought through the lyrics. She would snuggle in closer to the body that held her and close her little eyes, giving in to the comfort of sleep.


	3. Chapter 2

Clark's mourning/paternity time ended at the Planet and he was heartbroken to leave his baby. Lucy (Lois's little sister) flew in to be a live-in nanny, and I was amazed at how well she dealt with Caitlyn. Clark super sped home every day at lunch, and though he didn't go in the house, he would sit in his loft and listen to them, using his x-ray vision to watch. When Lucy went to visit her father, because when the general tells you to visit you visit, Martha came home to fill in.

He and Lois were busy on a new story, and a fresh lead had materialized. Clark was stressed. He was pacing at his desk, tapping a pen against his palm. Lois was watching him. She appeared to be typing intently away on her keyboard, but her eyes kept darting to Clark's face. She wore a deep frown. Lois was hating herself for feeling an attraction to Clark. It hadn't even been a year since my death, and she felt it was inappropriate. What she couldn't know was that I hated to see Clark so tense. I wanted him to be happy, but he wouldn't be, not without someone by his side. Someone he could tell about his day, his whole day - not just the part of the day where he chased down a lead that went absolutely nowhere, but also the part of his day where he had stopped a bank robbery before it even started.

They couldn't see it yet, but I could sense that the person for him to share these things with would be Lois. The problem was, Clark wasn't great about doing anything just for himself. He was always worried about making everyone else happy. Granted, something had clicked when he'd finally seen me, the me that loved him, and the me that he never knew he had loved back. I was proud of him for that. He'd actually made a decision and acted on it, without worrying about anybody but himself. It may sound selfish, but Clark Kent is anything but. He is the most selfless person on the planet. The fact that he'd been able to put his own happiness first had filled my heart with joy. Everything I had ever done was for him, and he finally had done something for himself. It was comparable to watching a child tie their shoes for the first time. It was something millions of people did on a daily basis without a thought, but for them is a moment of pure enlightenment.

Maybe if he'd been able to do it before he would do it again.

At home with his mom, Clark was still stressed. Dinner was long finished, but he was still seated at the table, staring off into oblivion.

"Mom, how long would you be willing to stay? To watch Caitlyn?" His mother turned worried eyes to her son. She was unsure, on edge.

"Why do you ask?"

"I, I need to finish my training. I have to learn how to embrace my entire Kryptonian heritage."

Martha sighed. She'd hoped her intuition had been wrong. "Do you really think this is the best time to leave?"

He nodded. He'd been thinking about it for weeks. This decision was the cause behind the lack of sleep, the pacing, and his inability to relax in general. This was a time when I would have sat him on the couch and curled up against him. He would have held me, telling me his thoughts, and eventually my calm would have consumed him. Now, I could only witness.

"If I go now, Caitlyn will have no memory of me being gone. Once I have accepted my fate, my destiny, I will be better equipped to protect this world. I'll be able to let my daughter grow up under the protection of myself."

Martha had already known the answer to her question. Clark did not take the decision of putting himself in his biological father's hands lightly. Jor-El had once trapped Clark in his fortress in hopes all humans he had a connection to would die and Clark could emerge with no human connections to hold him down. It hadn't worked. Clark's human connections proved stronger than Jor-El had anticipated.

I had a feeling I knew Clark's most important reason for returning to Jor-El's training. With me by his side, Clark had finally been able to let go of the ground and fly. But after losing me, and a part of himself, he'd been grounded. I was betting he hoped Jor-El would fix his 'wings'. I doubted that was something Jor-El could teach him. It seemed to have more to do with some fear deep inside Clark, a fear that was intertwined with his inability to show his true self to the world. When I had been his world, I had known the true Clark. He'd had to hide nothing from me, and it allowed him to feel free from the burden of living a double life. Now, he was back at square one.

Martha was holding Caitlyn, bouncing her gently as she walked around the kitchen cleaning up from dinner. The anxiety she emitted was almost deafening. I didn't need this new 'sixth sense' to understand and share what Martha was feeling. It frightened me to think of Clark going back up to the fortress. If something happened, our daughter would have to grow up without both of her parents.

"What I believe... What I know, is that I have no option. We know you have a destiny waiting for you. I understand that you do, eventually, need to reach your true potential. I will be here for Caitlyn whenever I need to be." Martha, still holding our baby girl, left the kitchen and Clark.

Clark gave his notice at the Planet and informed Lois he would be gone for some time. The most difficult part, outside of leaving his daughter, was devising a story that would make sense to Lois. He knew she would be upset with him for abandoning Caitlin. He truly is a mastermind. Telling Lois that he needed to attempt to reconnect with his biological father was pure genius. It wasn't a lie. She was completely understanding that having a child of his own gave him a desire to meet up with his own dad. She was completely supportive and even offered to drive him to the airport. He gently declined.

I failed to see Clark's ulterior motives for running off to the fortress. He was angry. Most of his hardest trials had been set in motion by Jor-El. In fact, his earthly father's death had been brought on indirectly, or maybe directly, by Jor-El. So it wasn't that far-fetched for Clark to blame him for my death. Once Clark had super sped out of Metropolis I had felt the anger rise, consuming him. It scared me.

Inside the fortress he had demanded an explanation.

"My son, a normal human woman could not bear your children," This was not a new understanding. "Had Chloe not been able to heal herself, she would not have made it as far through the birthing process as she did."

Clark was kneeling on the ice floor, truly confronting my death head on for the first time. His father's words were only echoing what we already knew. But there was another unvoiced question within Clark. I could feel his question, but had no way of knowing its exact nature.

"Kal-El, there was no way that you could have saved both mother and child. Yes, I could give you a second chance, but what would you do with it? Take the life away from a child who hasn't even yet had the chance to live?"

He was fighting it, but the feeling was starting to strengthen. Clark did not want to have to accept this truth, that he was defenseless against my death. There was nothing he could change to make the situation better. Different, maybe, but not better. He could never forgive himself for taking a child's life. And he was apologetic already for even doubting my decision. That realization was what finally allowed him to accept the truth. I wasn't coming back to him this time.

Knowing and accepting the truth did not make dealing with it any easier. He stood and closed his eyes, his baby girl's smiling face displayed behind his lids. My fate was not Caitlyn's fault.

"If anyone is to be blamed, it should be myself. However, Chloe would not forgive me for thinking that way." He was definitely right about that. "She made a great sacrifice for our family, and I shall not take that honor away from her." Isn't he the sweetest?

That was when I knew everything was going to be okay. I half expected to see 'the bright light', I felt so at peace. Part of me thought I just needed to see this moment. Though, it seemed I would be sticking around even longer. That was no disappointment to me, deep down I knew I was not ready to let go.


	4. Chapter 3

Lois spent any time she could at the Kent farm with Caitlyn and Martha. Her and Caitlyn played together, her and Martha cooked together. Yes, you read that correctly. Martha helped Lois learn some basics of food preparation. She didn't bake anything, but did lots of chopping, mixing, and pouring.

By the end of week number two of Clark's mission, Lois had band aids on all but three fingers. The sharp knives didn't seem to deter her though. Lois was determined to learn from Martha. Losing her own mother at a young age had really done a number on Lois. I couldn't ignore the feelings of love and gratitude she felt toward Martha. The only person I'd ever seen her work this hard to impress was the General. That particular pursuit had stopped at the ripe age of twelve. I believe she realized the only way to make him truly proud, was to oppose him openly and firmly.

She observed Martha with Caitlyn as well. She mimicked Martha's rocking, her voice, her entire demeaned really. Lois was trying very hard to be as amazing with Caitlyn as Martha. Watching their cousin attempting to become their child's parent might cause feelings of envy for some. For me, it was like watching a caterpillar squeeze out if it's cocoon, well on its way to becoming a beautiful butterfly.

At the end of the month, Lois was cradling Caitlyn in one arm with a bottle tucked under her chin, and typing away at her laptop with her free hand. I would sigh if I had the lungs for it. Heck, I'd probably cry if I had the tears. Lois was juggling her career with my child. It wasn't as if Martha couldn't handle things on her own. Lois just needed to be there with Caitlyn.

I could feel that she was missing Clark. I missed him too. For the first time I thought about myself in all of this. I missed the man I loved. I was missing out on our beautiful daughter. It was all very sad. Yet, somehow, I was content.

Maybe i was okay because since the day I had met him, I had known Clark Kent was meant for something special. It was evident early on that nothing and no one could come between him and his destiny. Destiny is what had happened to Clark his whole life. I knew there was a big part of him that hated it. Clark knew how important it all was though. The Earth needed a savior, and he was the best thing available.

Martha, like myself in a way, was focused on Lois and Caitlyn, standing at the island in the kitchen. I could see the unshed tears in her eyes, and I understood. She missed me, and at the same time was thankful for Lois. Martha could see what I could feel, Lois was what Clark needed now. Getting Lois and Clark to see it, that would take nothing short of a miracle. 

The next morning, Martha was helping Lois understand the finer points of waffle making. Caitlyn was in her bassinet next to the island, where both women could keep, sleeping happily.

"So, Lois. Have you heard from that Oliver guy lately?" Martha was sweet, but not always the most subtle. Lois and Oliver had dated for a while a few years back, but Oliver had left Metropolis to put together his team of crime-fighting superheros. Not ready to fill her in on all his after-hours activities, Oliver had broken up with Lois before he had left. Martha and Lois were both aware that Oliver Queen had recently made his way back to Kansas.

"Um, no." Lois's hand hit the edge of the bowl she'd been stirring the dry ingredients in, and she barely caught it before it flipped over and covered her in the white powders. Martha had obviously hit a nerve.

"Oh, well, I had just thought that maybe since he was back in town he might have given you a call?" Martha poured her wet ingredients in to Lois's bowl and moved to rinse out the now empty bowl.

"No, he hasn't called." Martha raised N eyebrow as Lois attempted to beat the dry and wet ingredients in to submission.

"Lois? Not so fast. We want the batter to be kind of dense." Lois looked up at the older woman confused. Her hand stilled, holding the wooden spoon, and she frowned. Lois was beyond confused, in all actuality. She obviously had thought her feelings for Oliver were long gone. Martha bringing him up had suddenly made her question that.

"Sorry." I love when Lois lets her sheepish side show, makes her almost seem human. Well, you know what I mean.

After breakfast had been eaten, Lois hurried off to work. She still couldn't get thoughts of Oliver out of her head. Then she had the sudden realization she wasn't actually fighting it. She was starting to think maybe rekindling things with Ollie would keep her from further developing feelings for Clark. The poor girl. That's not why you give a botched relationship a second chance.

Right as she was about to pull into the Daily Planet parking garage, Lois pulled a tight left and I had no doubt she was heading straight for Oliver's loft. The one consoling thought in my mind was that Oliver had nit had another serious relationship since Lois. He had been too busy fighting crime and holding on to his holdings in LuthorCorp to try. It only took her around fifteen minutes in traffic to reach Oliver's building. She wasn't putting a lot of thought in to this plan.

She stepped out of the car, slammed the door shut, straightened he skirt and headed for the elevator. As the elevator rose, her heartbeat escalated. She started having second thoughts about barging in on him, maybe she should have done the normal thing and called. And then the elevator stopped, and the door opened.

"Lois? What a... Surprise!" Oliver stepped toward a chair and grabbed the shirt laying over it, quickly slipping it over his head.

Lois wasn't even trying to hide her blatant staring. Oliver has one of the nicest bodies on the planet, why not stare? Heck, as much as I loved my husband (and people, Clark has THE nicest body on the planet), I always stared when Ollie was shirtless.

"I- Um- I heard you were back, just wanted to verify my sources!" She stepped out of the elevator and in to his loft. Lois's nerves were screaming at me. It was almost unbearable.

"Well, sighting confirmed." Oliver slipped into his role easily, smiling at Lois, staying a good five feet away from her. One never knows when Lois might swing a left hook (I'm speaking literally here) in an intense emotional situation.

"This is where I usually stick my foot in my mouth." Lois seemed to be trying a new approach.

"Well, that has happened on occasion. What if you don't talk anymore? Instead, I'd like to have diner with you. If you are interested, you can simply nod."

Lois's head slowly lifted and dropped a few times. Oliver smiled and continued, "Then I'll send a car to get you around 7:30?" Lois nodded again, smiling now. "It's settled. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting in twenty on the otherwise of town."

"Of course." Lois tuned on her heels and stepped back into the elevator. As the door closed, she exhaled. Alright, well then. Oliver seemed to still have feelings for her. I just hoped Lois's heart and mind were on the same page; I was pretty sure they weren't.

All the while, Clark's father had him running back and forth between Metropolis and the Fortress. His usual primary colored wardrobe had been traded in for all black. I can't say it's not sexy. Though, it's very... not Clark.

He sneaks in quick visits to see Caitlyn about once a week, making sure no one else sees him. It's always the middle of the night and he streaks into her room, lifts her out of the crib, and holds her tight to his chest. I can sense his love, but his face is a mask, stoic. He holds his chin high, even as he looks upon his daughter. He whispers his love to her and bounces her gently for a few moments before returning her to the crib, all without waking her.

And then he's gone, heading back to the fortress. He doesn't sleep (not really), just trains, saves, and checks in on his baby girl. It's a sad cycle, really. Caitlyn is his only connection to humanity. His heart is heavy, all his emotions pressed tightly into the confines of his deepest vault. I worry about him.

Jor-El has a history of almost torturing Clark to get him to do what he wants. I know Clark is strong, but I still worry he will lose himself. His visits to Caitlyn prove he's holding on, for now. I just hope he fights to hold on to her.


End file.
